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Understanding Submission

Picture1One writer in the New Testament said, “Let all things be done decently and in order.”(1Corinthians 14:40). I believe where there is order peace cannot be difficult to embrace. This is why there are no two presidents in a country, and among captains on a ship, there is one leading captain who will be in charge of sailing the ship. I know that orderliness and peace could minimize the rate of unrest and commotion in families. After a long time of investment in my marriage, I have come to the understanding that submission is the secret to peace in marriage and peace is directly proportional to orderliness.

What exactly is submission? The dictionary meaning of submission is the action of fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. This implies that there is a superior and the other person is yielding. It also implies that someone is in charge. My question to wives today is why do we find it hard to submit to our own husbands? Attitude towards instructions and commands is what reveals the true level of a wife’s submission. When you see a woman that truly understands submission when her husband says “jump” figuratively speaking, her attitude or response should be my love, how high? This means that a woman who fully comprehends submission to her own husband will go above and beyond to please her own husband knowing fully well that she stands to be blessed by God and not by her own husband. The Bible instructs us in Ephesian 5: 22–24, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

This is the secret; the blessing is always attached to every God’s instructions. As a wife, what you do with God’s instruction will determine whether you will be blessed by God or not.  For example, the blessing attached to the instruction in Ephesians 5: 22-24 lies in Ephesians 25 – 29 that is your husband will love you as Christ loves the church. This kind of love is unconditional. Take a moment and think of what your marriage will be like if the kind of love your husband has for you is unconditional.

During the first years of my marriage, my husband taught me secrets to submitting to one’s husband. He told me that do I know that God will answer my prayers speedily anytime I go to God concerning him (my husband). He also usually says to me, let me cheat you. As our marriage advanced in years, I fully understood the meaning of the statement let me cheat you, which is let me have my way all the time and you (me his wife) will stand to benefit. When I let him have the final say in anything that has to do with the family and I do not argue with him; when he makes the final decision, he will have me and the children in mind because, at the end of it, myself and the children are the first beneficiaries of his decisions.

When a woman says, “I do,” she takes her husband last name, her husband becomes her father. One of the responsibilities of a father is to train his child. What that connotes is that husbands have the responsibility to train their wives. A good husband trains his wife on how she can relate with him, and how she could maximize her place in the marriage to her benefits. A good husband is a secured man; who is not fearful about how his wife could leverage on the knowledge that she has received against him. Rather, he should be proud of a wife that will be a value-added agent to his life.

Furthermore, the submission that is existing between children and their fathers, should be the same between wives and their husbands. In a Christian home, there should not be a difference between children’s level of submission to their fathers from that of wives and their husband. I am not suggesting that wives should not have their opinions or that wife should be treated as a child. However, the big picture is, it is your marriage and just as Christ wants us to have a childlike faith toward him, so also wives should have a submissive spirit to their own husbands (Matt 18:3 and 19:14). Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” What this statement means to me for wives by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit is, that Wives honor your husbands that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Ephesians 6: 1-3 also gives another instruction for children towards their parents. My interpretation of that verse is, wives, obey your husbands in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your husband that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. Long life for a wife is also tied to respecting her husband. This may be hard to chew but it is the truth. I have said this not to imply that every wife who died before their husband did not submit. Rather, submission is part of what a good wife should imbibe into her marriage in other to enjoy a long life.

If submission is one of God’s instruction; then submission is not burdensome (1John 5:3). Your perspective to submission in a marriage is what reveals your real attitude to the subject. I have tasted it and it is sweet, I have tried it and it works; and if it works for me it can work for you.  As a car does not care who drives it but has no option than to move; so, submission does not care who make good use of it but has no option than to add value to your marriage and give you peace of mind. Therefore, I am encouraging all wives to embrace submission. If you can subscribe to submission and start immediately, no amount of words can explain the blessings of God which you stand to enjoy.

Till I come your way again, watch out for the next exhortation on how to submit!

Remain ever blessed and Rapturable in Christ!

Hidden Treasure
Ibukun Adedokun